The Past/Present/Future

2010:
 

Big M Started pre-school 2 days a week! I was pretty worried that first day. She can be a timid sort and takes a while to warm up to new situations/people - a bit like her old mum I suppose. In the end I was ridiculously pleased, relieved and proud to see her walk in with confidence; no tears, no drama. Calm down Mum, I can totally handle this!! And so she could. Another lesson learned - don't under estimate the little ones. The force is strong in them.

Big Daddy took a massive risk and went into business with his brothers. It has more than paid off. They still talk to each other and we have money! The downside - it takes up five nights a week. Lonely times for moi. I have coped really well and have enjoyed all the movies and starting my blog! In saying that, the husband working most nights is definitely not in the grand plan! We have, however, managed to free ourselves from a heavy burden of debt. I am now a firm believer that credit cards are pure evil and not one shall find themselves a welcome spot in our hard working wallets again.

My best friend left Sydney and left me almost friendless again. Its been hard coping without your really good, long-term friends and my time in Australia has hammered home how important my friends are and how much I miss them. Making new friends is great but can be really exhausting. Starting from scratch, no shared history, sometimes you just want to reminisce over a few. You know, remember when? Still in 2010 I have made good friends with several new people, so hears to new adventures...

I started working again!! Only a couple of wee shifts for Big Daddy but oh my goodness, I love it!! After being at home full time for two years, it has been a welcome escape into adult world and not too strenuous.

Two of my brothers got married on the other side of the world and unfortunately, I couldn't attend. That was hard and is just a wee reminder of how much it sucks having two amazing families but on opposite sides of the world. On the positive - we have two large amazing families!!!

My beautiful little sister and my little, much younger brother came from across the globe to stay with us for six weeks. We had a ball. I miss them so much.

The devastating news that one of my best friends, aged 31 has been diagnosed with cancer. A bolt from the blue which knocked me off my feet for a while. In true form she is being completely amazing. What an inspiration. Good luck my little mate. Thinking of you always x

And so to 2011, its going to be an emotional year, I think. Some hard goodbyes and long awaited reunions. We are planning to move the family back to the UK in the middle of the year. Big M will start at primary school full time and who knows, God willing, maybe we could muster up the courage to try for no 3???!! Phew, I'm making myself tired thinking about it all. First up we have a road trip. Our first proper family holiday in Australia to beautiful, calm, (hopefully sunny) Port Stephens. Summer holidays!!!!

The Past/Present/Future

Brain Drain

I am wasted. Unfortunately it's not due to drink. My brain is refusing to go into fourth gear, its stuck in mabye second or third. To all intense purposes I look normal but, underneath the facade, the wiring needs a good overhaul. You see mushy brain went like this today; forgot my pin number in a shop (yes, I was only just blogging about that and it actually happened.) This led to pleading nice patient girl in bank to let me have some money, which I duly signed for only to realise that the particular bank card I was using is still in my maiden name!!!! (That is a whole other story which is too boring to recall.) Luckily, nice, patient, 'just learning' wee bank lassie didn't notice that I had completely signed the wrong name so I took the money and scampered. The whole reason I needed the money in the first place was to buy Big M's three lovely pre-school teachers a pressie in time for school finishing in 15 mins!! Once again I had forgotten to do this previously. Of course, once we were all back home completing the witching hour, it dawned on me that I actually need another four, yes four pressies for Little E's occasional care teachers - tomorrow!!! Grrrr. Its all my brains fault, not me.  I also lost my phone - again and now have no numbers and no idea what time Big M's dress rehearsal starts tomorrow. I am currently drowning in fuzziness. The ideas and actions don't seem to be linking and all the espresso in the world is not helping. I am choking my way through the breaststroke whilst everyone else seems to be gliding past in the fast lane. Foggy, hazy brain please get in gear so I can make it to Christmas day and ease the pain of said loss of apparent brain function with lots of wine......

Brain Drain

Gym

Just been to the gym, being the ultra sexy super mum that I am. I actually have to put a bit of work in to maintaining this yummy mummy body of mine. Lol, sorry was daydreaming there. Back to reality, I hadn't seen that gym/torture chamber place for a fortnight and I have generally had the 'I'm totally over it' feeling. I dragged my sorry ass out today, oh and speaking of asses, mine was swinging like a church bell because I bravely wore shorts for the first time in quite a while. Yes, the short wearing feels really different from wearing the Lycra 3/4 training pants. They kind of hold things in, but these shorts.... I could feel gravity pulling that ass of mine. Bugger off gravity! I actually thought it might fall out completely. Its not fair, most people worry about their boobs falling out, but seeing as little E reduced mine to empty socks after a year of breastfeeding, I need never have that particular concern. Anyway, the whole point of the post was to say that I feel great for going to the gym. Really, my brain feels like its whirring a bit faster. I had been worrying that perhaps it had almost stopped entirely after being unable to recall my children's dates of births when asked the other day. Oh and I still have a slight panic every time I have to put my pin number in - just in case I can't remember it -that has happened. Now, unfortunately it's time to exercise the housekeeping muscles....

Gym

Motherhood

Smiles, tears, joy, pain, intensity, the unexpected, amazement, purpose, meaning, alive, unbelievable love, belonging, home. I love being mummy. Thank you world xxxx  

 
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Motherhood

1st time Gallery Participant

My first time posting for The Gallery  Little E at The Adventure Playground when she still had her adorable chubby cheeks! Totally random shot snapped at the park on a lovely afternoon as the sun was sinking. Love it. Good times!

1st time Gallery Participant

one hour

I have an hour. A blessed hour on a Thursday between dropping kids off, slugging back a wee coffee with hubby and stating work. That is one sacred hour of no kids - just me in the hoose by myself. Oh blessed peace. I actually find myself giddy with excitement. What will I do first? So much to fit in, in that holy time. Thats the trouble, I usually find myself dreaming of all the lovely things I could do that before you know it, its 10:50 and time to go help hubby at work.......

one hour

Ba humbug in Oz

Its Christmas time but its summer time here in Australia. Quite frankly it's just plain wrong. Here's what I miss about our lovely Scottish Christmas:

Christmas shopping when its cold. The air is crisp, daylight is dim, hundreds of multi-coloured scarfs zoom by but the cold grey light only highlights the twinkling Christmas lights that saturate the streets and shops. Buchanan St and Princes Square, Glasgow never look so lush and loved than at Christmas.  Rosey fresh faces puffing liitle clouds of breath as they dash about looking for gifts to cheer up their loved ones in the middle of a cold bleak Scottish winter. A manic atmosphere that is infectious. Its just more of a thing, a big hulabaloo than out here in hot country NSW where twinkly lights just don't have the same effect.

The cold December party nights, dressed in inappropriate non-seasonal clothing and filled with silly silly dancing and a good few 'swallies.' When its cold outside, it makes so much more sense to down a few too many and dance the night away or stuff your belly full of rich food and put the world to rights.

Wrapping pressies on a cold snowy afternoon by the fire with a Chrissie film on the telly, the 1946 classic 'Its a Wonderful Life.'

Ice skating on St Georges Square, Glasgow under 'the lights'. 
 
A wee wee bit of gorgeous shortbread with your coffee after all those big meals - you know you shouldn't but hell its Christmas.

But of course the real reason that an Aussie Christmas will never quite hit the mark is the absence of so many loved ones; my mum and dad whom I've not seen for nearly 2 years now, my four bothers and 2 sisters and of course the real spirit of Christmas, those 11 nieces and nephews who are growing up way too fast far from my eyes.

Still, all is not lost, I get to spend a hot Christmas, being fed like a Queen by the in-laws and enjoy seeing their faces as they spend those precious days with our little ins. Oh and then we get to go our summer holidays - weird but yay!

Ba humbug in Oz

Chicken's Play

I was watching the girls today, Big M who is four and Little E who is 2 playing with our new additions to the family - three bewildered chickens. The girls are completely engrossed and find these plucky strange animals utterly entertaining. I in turn find myself enjoying watching the shenanigans and interactions between the girls and their chickens. As I stand in our back garden, I am dead set certain that for me, this is what life is all about. Kids and chickens! In the house are mounting piles of plastic toys for engaging children; ‘improving their co-ordination,' is that hand to eye or brain to foot - I have no freakin idea! I do know, however, that most of it (if not all of it) is completely unnecessary. The best things in life are indeed for free, love, friendship, family...The light breeze is blowing little E's long straight hair in her face, accentuating her 'wild at heart' look that she suits so well. The fresh wind only serves to increase their energy for chasing the chickens around the coup. Both girls are trying to mother the animals by picking the grain up and offering it to them. They chat away to them like equals. ‘Come on chickens, eat your breakfast.’ Simple times, simple moments, simply the best!

Chicken's Play

PMT - pretty miserable thanks

'PMT' - we've all heard the jokes, BUT if you are a sufferer it is no joke my friend. Personally, I've not been inclined to much of the old PMT stuff until recently...... All part of climbing the ladder that is thirty something..... Anyways, after threats to husband of 'I think I am actually going crazy' to which his response was to take the next day off work (he's a good 'in indeed) and sobbing apologies to my four year old for 'mum shouting like a crazy woman,' I am now in the process of some highly scientific trials. Over the next few months I will be trying out a variety of supplements, herbal stuff, and improving a sometimes embarrassingly high sugar loaded diet. I may may maybe, we shall see, fit in a bit more exercise too - eek. This month I shall be the Vitamin B6 and Evening Primrose Oil guinea pig. I've also swapped my last cuppa of the day to chamomile tea - a slightly pathetic gesture in view of the fact that I am a total caffeine head the rest of the day. Oh and if my beautiful darling 2 1/2 year old would care to have a normal sleeping routine, we may actually find a complete cure. 

PMT - pretty miserable thanks

Allergic to clutter

I hate clutter. It makes me irritable (even more than usual!) Unfortunately in our buy more, have more, want more culture, kids=clutter! Constantly picking up crap is soooooo not fun. I love space, room to think clearly and a kind of order. In fact, I am increasingly enjoying outdoors as it is generally free from reminders of things to clean up!!!!!!!!!!! Having some nice things can be, well, nice but generally having lots of stuff is just plain tiresome. I'm not quite ready to wander the desert as a Buddhist monk searching for Nirvana yet but I do feel less crap is the order of the day! October is buy nothing new month organised by the Salvos store. I'm so giving that a go.

Allergic to clutter

M is for mindgames

One of my (many) guilty secrets as a mum is our expeditions to our local fast food giant. However, I can say in my defence that it doesn't happen that often as on principle I CANT STAND THEM. Annoyingly though it serves us well for ridiculously cheap ice cream and acceptable coffee and of course the free play area. This obviously equals a relatively easy venture out the house for mum + 2 under 5's. I'm not here to sing the praises of thus hideous food chain though, I actually want to explain my utter bewilderment at the power of these monsters on our little people. My kids usually watch kiddie films or the kiddie channel which has no adverts. Exposure to said nasty little adverts is therefore, I hope, fairly limited. 

So.......why on earth does that great big yellow letter in the sky lead to outbursts of mass hysteria, extreme excitement and ridiculously happy children? The power of branding my friend is scary indeed. Let me explain further, a lesser known local cafe that we also frequent which also has kiddie appropriate consumables and an equally impressive play area is met with smiles but in a much more subdued, much less frenetic, obsessive manner. I don't understand it people but I do feel a healthy level of caution and scepticism is the order of the day along with the cheap ice-cream and not too bad coffee.

M is for mindgames

Questions

Can I go on T.V with the Kangaroos? - No
Can I go into space? - Not at the moment
Does poo come from food? - yes

In the last hour these are just a short sample of the left of left field in left town questions, I have been presented with. Everyone knows about the terrible twos but much less is said about the 'forever asking questions fours.' On some days, I would say they could drive you just as batty especially if you happen to be the only human encyclopedia around. Oh, and if you don't know the answer, you'd better just make one up because non answering is not acceptable and will lead to a regression back into the terrible two tantrum like stage. Oh yeah. FUN AND GAMES. I'm off to study for my four year old exam tomorrow. bye.

Questions

Washing Confessions

I have a war going on in my head, completely in my own little head I'm sure. Its a washing war or more a drying war. A bit of a competition has arisen between myself and the neighbours although they don't know anything about it of course. It's my own private war between me and the race against time that is household chores.

I will explain, you see for as long as I can remember, I have always been the last one to hang my washing out to dry. There it is, I have admitted one of my many failings as domestic goddess extraordinaire. I walked out into the garden yesterday morning, a beautiful sunny fresh spring morning, with crisp blue skies. The birds were tweeting, I was feeling organised armed with my sweet smelling basket. Then frustration and envy took hold as out of the corner of my eye there it was - the neighbours big underpants flapping in the light breeze like a victory flag! She beat me again. Jesus, how early does this women get up? She must must forgo her cup of morning tea and head straight for the damn washing machine. Damn't, I hate having such organised neighbours, making me look so inadequate with my 9:30 hanging (and that's early for me.) Not only that, but actually, as far as the eye can see, I am surrounded by beautiful displays of fresh washing, happily catching the first morning rays adding to my failure.

You see, my washing regularly gets a raw deal, I'm sure it wishes it could belong to another more efficient household far from us, somewhere further down the street or maybe round the corner. I regularly abandon my poor wee washing overnight too. Its 7pm, the kids are in bed (sometimes), most necessary chores are done (usually) and I see it as I am flicking on the kettle. Aah, the silhouettes of the towels just visible in the darkness. Bugger, it can wait till morning. Hey, I can pretend I'm the first one out!!!!!

Washing Confessions

Making scones (with a 4 yr old and 2yr old)

So, insanity came over me this morning when I decided that on a wet horrible rainy day like thus it would be a fantastic idea to make scones with the kids. I could have just opted for the easy option and taken them to the indoor ball pool but nooooo, in a moment of mummy, homey type hormones I opted for scones. (I think I was thinking about the end result more - hot cup of steaming tea with freshly baked scones and that lovely aroma wafting through the house.)

Of course in order to get to this point, utter carnage has taken place. About two seconds into the activity, I was already regretting it. The girls are covered from head to toe in flour and I'm not much better. After I snatch the bowl away from them in a huff, yes me the parent, in order to stop Big M eating the butter instead of rubbing it into the flour (yes both my children like to eat blocks of butter -eugh- must be the dad genes),  I finally get on with making the damn things. Meanwhile the girls are literally rolling their bodies on the flour covered work top and generally spreading the flour as far as they can across the kitchen.

I then endure 25 mins of 'are they ready yet mum?' at 2 min intervals. However, the good news is  little E is having her nap, Big M is watching TV and I am now enjoying my hot scone and tea. I'm just not looking behind me........

Making scones (with a 4 yr old and 2yr old)

tantrum time

Thank God. Its over. One of THOSE days. It went something like this "waaaaaaaaaaaah, wahhhhhhhhhh, WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" for pretty much the last 24 hours. I'm okay now though folks. There is silence, ahhhhhhhh that beautiful sweet sound of nothing, nada, just some faint snores from down the hall. I've had my warm cuppa and a great whopping slice of highly calorific, pretty orgasmic choc crunch slice.

Now I can tell my tale. It actually starts off last night. The other half and I had managed to bag a couple of hours out the house for pizza and wine. Nice. We arrive home, my head hits the pillow and I am feeling soooooooooo sleepy due to the rather lovely lush couple of glasses of red and so I am looking forward to a good wee sleep. 11:30pm she cries, I ignore. It builds. Alright coming. Mums arms are not enough she wants Dads too and so we are all up now. Somehow the little darling manages to sneak her way into our bed. Hubby ends up in the spare room and somehow the little 'in ditches me and ends up in there too. After lots of wakings and bed swapping we awake grumpy and angry ready to start the day. Yippee!

The tantrums begin over cereal then hair doing, sister in her seat, outfit for the day, snacks or lack of interesting sweet ones, sharing biscuit with sister in cafe because they are too bloody expensive to have one each okay. Its only 11am. Dear God. She's not impressed with my lunch offerings either or the fact that it is generally accepted by most people that sitting at the table is required for good manners! Nap time - beautiful time of day. She wakes grumpy as ever. More wailing over toy sharing, refusing to wash hands, refusing to sit at the table again, shower enforcement, where to put on pyjamas. Get the drift? The finish line is in sight and I think jeez my laid back baby is hitting the terrible twos with a vengeance. Maybe just maybe there is actually a reason for all this calamity, please? please? I check her gums and there it is. Two beautiful teenie weenie little bits of tooth right at the back piercing their way through red raw gums. I spring into action: medicine, bonjela, cuddles, milk. Goodnight angel. Tomorrow will be better!

tantrum time

skin to skin

Did you hear about the Australian mother who was told her son was dead after his birth only for the mother to realise he was still alive two hours later? This clever woman took off her baby's top and held him skin to skin, when she thought he was gasping for air the doctors told her it was just a reflex thing. She decided to offer him some breastmilk from her finger and low and behold they discovered he was still alive!!!!!!!!Holey moley!!! How amazing!

Our culture seems to be gradually coming around to the idea of how important skin to skin contact is between a mother and her new baby but I think this story says it all. A recent study published in The Lancet showed that 90 % of premature babies core temperature rose to 37C after being held by their mother for 4 hours compared to only 60% of prem babies who were put in incubators. Interesting.......It makes so much sense to me that a baby who has just been inside you would want to be held pretty close for a while especially when it is has suddenly been turfed out of its comfy womb into the big bad world. More cuddles please!!!! The world would be a better place for it!

skin to skin

stop growing!!!

So, this morning, I sent the oldest to preschool in a dress that barely covered her arse!! It was a mistake of course. I didn't really notice until I picked her up!!! ooops. Luckily she had thick black tights on. (even though there was actually a hole in those too.) Crap. The problem is, and I believe this is quite common in young children, THEY GROW TOO DAMN FAST!! Shame cos I fought with her and made her sit for my terrible attempt at french plaits and they turned out ok. Her teachers were probably like 'Well she might be able to do her hair nicely but can't she buy her kids clothes that fit?' Yes and that would be a fair call. Mental note to oneself: check skirt length on way out of door along with drinks, nappies, coats, appropriate footwear, hats snacks, tissues, money, bunny, monkey, ...............................blah blah blah!!!! Learning every day, every day.

stop growing!!!

Cafe standards or lack of !!

Okay , so when I had no kids, I was a judgemental cow, tut tutting at noisy unruly kids running in front of poor waiting staff and annoying everyone. After I had M, I was a bit more understanding although still got embarrassed when she let out her ear piercing, award winning howls. Now visiting cafes with a 4 year old and 2 year old in tow is quite hilarious but not for the cafe owner I'm sure. Oh my God, how my standards have dropped. So lets see, the norm now is greasy little hands smearing over any glass display, window table, seat cover in sight. I have been in trouble several times for letting the darlings chew on sugar sticks pretending I hadn't noticed - and that was just from husband. Lets not forget too how much biscuits and crap I am willing to feed my little ins just to get drinking that beautiful life saving coffee whilst it is still hot. Oh yeah! In fact to write this blog, I have just let E have 3 biscuits in a row. No E you cant have another one. Better go.

Cafe standards or lack of !!

Funny word mix ups

'Hey Mum look its the Sydney Harbour Fridge' (the bridge is on tv)

'Mum, can I watch the chicken nuggets film' (I am bamboozeled, what the heck is she talking about. After much agitated conversation and lots of frustration on both sides, I realise she is talking about 'Alvin and the Chipmunks.' Chicken nuggets/chipmunks - you can see how that one took me a while!!!!)

Funny word mix ups

First post - lets start with a rant

Hey does anyone else think that stay at home mums are completely undervalued and underrated in our society? When I was at school and at Uni, I would have passed out if you had told me that I would be a stay at home mum - what a waste of brains and life!!!!!!!!!! Here I am. Its been over two years now and I have a whole new attitude. Hell yeah. The thing is past generations have fought staunchly for women's rights on our behalf; the right to work and have equal opportunities and equal social standing e.t.c However, everyone seems to forget that these generations fought so we could choose. I mean have the freedom to choose to work, or choose to be a stay at home mum or choose to do both or neither!!! So........why do I have the constant niggle in my brain that being a stay at home mum is not enough in today's society. I mean honestly, how many times have you heard -(in a whispered voice), 'shes just a mum'. Whattttttttttttt????!!!! Its only like arguably thee most important job on earth. mmmmmmmmmmmm.........

First post - lets start with a rant