Friday, September 24, 2010

M is for mindgames

One of my (many) guilty secrets as a mum is our expeditions to our local fast food giant. However, I can say in my defence that it doesn't happen that often as on principle I CANT STAND THEM. Annoyingly though it serves us well for ridiculously cheap ice cream and acceptable coffee and of course the free play area. This obviously equals a relatively easy venture out the house for mum + 2 under 5's. I'm not here to sing the praises of thus hideous food chain though, I actually want to explain my utter bewilderment at the power of these monsters on our little people. My kids usually watch kiddie films or the kiddie channel which has no adverts. Exposure to said nasty little adverts is therefore, I hope, fairly limited. 

So.......why on earth does that great big yellow letter in the sky lead to outbursts of mass hysteria, extreme excitement and ridiculously happy children? The power of branding my friend is scary indeed. Let me explain further, a lesser known local cafe that we also frequent which also has kiddie appropriate consumables and an equally impressive play area is met with smiles but in a much more subdued, much less frenetic, obsessive manner. I don't understand it people but I do feel a healthy level of caution and scepticism is the order of the day along with the cheap ice-cream and not too bad coffee.


Thursday, September 16, 2010


Can I go on T.V with the Kangaroos? - No
Can I go into space? - Not at the moment
Does poo come from food? - yes

In the last hour these are just a short sample of the left of left field in left town questions, I have been presented with. Everyone knows about the terrible twos but much less is said about the 'forever asking questions fours.' On some days, I would say they could drive you just as batty especially if you happen to be the only human encyclopedia around. Oh, and if you don't know the answer, you'd better just make one up because non answering is not acceptable and will lead to a regression back into the terrible two tantrum like stage. Oh yeah. FUN AND GAMES. I'm off to study for my four year old exam tomorrow. bye.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Washing Confessions

I have a war going on in my head, completely in my own little head I'm sure. Its a washing war or more a drying war. A bit of a competition has arisen between myself and the neighbours although they don't know anything about it of course. It's my own private war between me and the race against time that is household chores.

I will explain, you see for as long as I can remember, I have always been the last one to hang my washing out to dry. There it is, I have admitted one of my many failings as domestic goddess extraordinaire. I walked out into the garden yesterday morning, a beautiful sunny fresh spring morning, with crisp blue skies. The birds were tweeting, I was feeling organised armed with my sweet smelling basket. Then frustration and envy took hold as out of the corner of my eye there it was - the neighbours big underpants flapping in the light breeze like a victory flag! She beat me again. Jesus, how early does this women get up? She must must forgo her cup of morning tea and head straight for the damn washing machine. Damn't, I hate having such organised neighbours, making me look so inadequate with my 9:30 hanging (and that's early for me.) Not only that, but actually, as far as the eye can see, I am surrounded by beautiful displays of fresh washing, happily catching the first morning rays adding to my failure.

You see, my washing regularly gets a raw deal, I'm sure it wishes it could belong to another more efficient household far from us, somewhere further down the street or maybe round the corner. I regularly abandon my poor wee washing overnight too. Its 7pm, the kids are in bed (sometimes), most necessary chores are done (usually) and I see it as I am flicking on the kettle. Aah, the silhouettes of the towels just visible in the darkness. Bugger, it can wait till morning. Hey, I can pretend I'm the first one out!!!!!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Making scones (with a 4 yr old and 2yr old)

So, insanity came over me this morning when I decided that on a wet horrible rainy day like thus it would be a fantastic idea to make scones with the kids. I could have just opted for the easy option and taken them to the indoor ball pool but nooooo, in a moment of mummy, homey type hormones I opted for scones. (I think I was thinking about the end result more - hot cup of steaming tea with freshly baked scones and that lovely aroma wafting through the house.)

Of course in order to get to this point, utter carnage has taken place. About two seconds into the activity, I was already regretting it. The girls are covered from head to toe in flour and I'm not much better. After I snatch the bowl away from them in a huff, yes me the parent, in order to stop Big M eating the butter instead of rubbing it into the flour (yes both my children like to eat blocks of butter -eugh- must be the dad genes),  I finally get on with making the damn things. Meanwhile the girls are literally rolling their bodies on the flour covered work top and generally spreading the flour as far as they can across the kitchen.

I then endure 25 mins of 'are they ready yet mum?' at 2 min intervals. However, the good news is  little E is having her nap, Big M is watching TV and I am now enjoying my hot scone and tea. I'm just not looking behind me........
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